THE CHRISTIAN SERVICE OF MARRIAGE
Planning a wedding should be one of the happiest times for a bride and groom. Because the staff of First United Methodist Church wants to assist you in making this a memorable and worshipful experience, we offer the following guidelines.
—The Worship Committee
INTRODUCTION
In God’s plan, a man and a woman may enter together into marriage, pledging their love and fidelity each to the other. It is a bonding for life.
Jesus Christ blesses the marital relationship, and declares it holy. Those who pledge themselves in the sight of God and keep their pledge will receive God’s help and blessing as they journey through the joys and duties of life together.
Humanly speaking, marriage is a civil contract among a man, a woman, and the state. When a marriage is performed in the context of Christian worship, the proclamation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is a promise of blessing to the marriage.
At First United Methodist Church, we affirm the sanctity of the marriage covenant that is expressed in love, mutual support, personal commitment, and shared fidelity between a man and a woman. We believe that God’s blessing rests upon such marriage, whether or not there are children of the union. We reject social norms that assume different standards for women than for men in marriage.
As the man and the woman pledge their faith each to the other, their marriage is in the Lord. This applies equally to first marriage, to marriage after the death of a spouse, and to marriage after being divorced. In all marriages, it is the responsibility of the minister to counsel the couple.
Marriage is the passageway to family life. We believe that the family is the basic human community through which persons are nurtured and sustained in mutual love, responsibility, respect and fidelity.
Toward the end that weddings in First United Methodist Church might have the utmost meaning and be memorable occasions for all concerned, this guide is offered by the Worship Committee and the Altar Guild, with the approval of the Board of Trustees and the Administrative Council.
A SERVICE OF WORSHIP
The Christian marriage ceremony is a service of worship before God, normally conducted within the house of God. Reverence shall be expected on the part of all present, and the service shall be under the sole direction of the minister.
All weddings held at First United Methodist Church shall be officiated by one of the ordained members of the church staff. Ministers of other denominations may be invited to participate. The invitation must be extended by the Senior Pastor.
The order of worship for the wedding will conform to standards of the United Methodist Church as set forth in the Book of Worship and the Book of Discipline.
The marriage service will begin with a brief statement of the meaning of Christian marriage. At appropriate times during the ceremony there will be prayers for the couple. There will be an exchange of vows between the man and the woman; and if so desired, a ring or rings may be given. Scripture appropriate for the occasion will be read and the minister will deliver a charge to the couple, laying before them the privileges and obligation which they are about to receive and undertake. Before the conclusion of the service, the minister will declare publicly that this man and woman are now joined in marriage according to the ordinance of God and the law of the state. The service will conclude with a benediction.
To make the narthex more attractive, arrangements of flowers may be used on the tables. If tallow candles are used, please be sure to use a covering such as plastic under all candleholders to protect the carpet from wax drip.
No furniture in the Chancel area will be moved.
The use of tacks, nails, screws, or anything else that could damage the furnishings is prohibited. Small bows and ribbons or greenery and flowers may be used to decorate the reserved pews. No more than four pews may be decorated. No candles are permitted on the pews because of hazardous conditions created by open flames where people are moving in and out. Hurricane covers must be used for any candles used in the windows. No open flames may be carried down the aisles. All decorations to the pews will be attached with green or white florist tapes. No other fixtures are permitted on the pews.
A double Prie Dieu (kneeling bench) and two brass 7 branched candelabras will be used for the kneeling bench. We encourage the use of the church kneeling bench. The only charge made for the use of candelabras is for the candles. The approximate cost of each candle can be obtained through the church office. Protective clothes or plastic may be placed under organ console, pulpit, lectern, or baptismal font. Aisle clothes (runners) are dangerous and sometimes unmanageable. Since use of them would void our insurance policy, they will not be allowed.
If families wish to leave wedding flowers for use in worship on Sunday following the wedding, arrangements should be made through the church office. An acknowledgement will be placed in the Sunday bulletin.
Any flower arrangements used in the Chancel must be placed on the altar. The height of the flower arrangement(s) should not exceed the horizontal part of the altar cross. The altar cross and candles must be left in their place.
Any decorations or other appointments not approved will be removed. All decorations must be removed within three hours after the wedding.
ACOLYTES AND CRUCIFERS
If church acolytes and crucifers are needed for the wedding service, please make arrangements with the Altar Guild chair. (The church office can supply you with this name.) Trained acolytes and crucifers are available to serve.
PHOTOGRAPHS
No photographs will be permitted during the wedding service. Flash pictures disturb the worshipful atmosphere, and the loud sound of camera shutters is obtrusive even when a flash is not used. It is the responsibility of the bride and groom to alert anyone in the family, any guests, or professional photographers of this rule. Ushers will inform guests with cameras that they are not allowed to take pictures during the ceremony. The bride will inform the ushers. It may be helpful to include a statement in the printed program that photography is not permitted.
It is necessary that the photographer consult the minister before the wedding to discuss the wedding policy. The bride and groom will have the photographer consult the minister concerning the policies of First United Methodist Church.
Weddings may be videotaped, provided the camera operator and the equipment remains out of sight. We ask that the person operating the camera stand in the chancel area, to the left of the organist. We request that the “ready light” or the “recording light” be covered with magnetic tape, so as not to distract the worshiper.
THE REHEARSAL
Wedding directors are to be selected from a list approved by the First United Methodist Church. When they are used, directors are responsible for everything that precedes the beginning of the worship service. Once the service begins, the pastor is in charge.
If all members of the wedding party are punctual, a rehearsal will take no longer than 45 minutes.
SETTING A DATE
It is absolutely necessary that any man and woman contemplating marriage consult with the Senior Minister and Music Director before setting the wedding date. It is advisable to plan at least six months ahead. It is frustrating and embarrassing to announce a wedding date for which the church or staff cannot be available.
Non-members need to set a date at least six months prior to the wedding date.
THE MINISTER
The minister of First United Methodist Church has many pastoral obligations and time constraints with very little personal time. When the minister agrees to conduct your wedding he or she is making a sacrificial commitment of time that would otherwise be free time. Normal rehearsals are on Friday evenings and most weddings are on Saturdays. While the minister may be at the church as little as three or four hours fulfilling these commitments, the timing makes it impossible for him or her to plan a family outing or overnight trip. In addition to this, up to 3 hours of pre-marriage counseling is required during the last 6 months prior to the wedding. The minister reserves the right to determine how many sessions are necessary for each couple. The sessions are often in the evening hours, due to the working schedules of most modern couples.
Due to the commitment of time, non-church members will be charged a minimum fee of $300.00 for the minister’s services. This fee covers 3 to 6 sessions of pre-marriage counseling, one rehearsal, and one wedding. For commitment of professional services beyond this minimum, the fee will be negotiated. All fees are due on before the church office closes on Wednesday prior to the wedding rehearsal.
It is the responsibility of the bride and groom to phone the minister for the first appointment at least 6 months before the wedding. The minister is always happy to provide requested guidance on any aspects of the planned marriage ceremony at any time prior to the wedding date.
WEDDING MUSIC
In order to make a wedding a holy and cherished experience, every effort will be made to provide music which pleases the bride and groom and which is in good taste, and which conforms to United Methodist standards of worship.
The music that accompanies the ceremony must be sacred. It should direct attention to God, who sanctifies marriage, and special care should be taken to assure that it is reverent and in keeping with the theological thinking of First United Methodist Church.
Because a wedding is a worship service, all music must be appropriate to Christian worship. “Popular” music, ballads, love songs, etc., are inappropriate with the context. Wedding music, like all music in a worship service, should direct attention to the Almighty God and celebrate His goodness and love. The Music Director can offer suitable and more appropriate suggestions for all the music for the wedding, including processional music.
In addition, as First United Methodist Church has an exceptionally fine organ and a highly qualified organist, it is the church’s policy that no taped or recorded music be used. The organist will be available to rehearse with soloists immediately before the wedding rehearsal.
Once the bride and groom have consulted with the Senior Minister and Music Director and set a date, they will be expected to arrange an appointment with the Music Director for the purpose of jointly planning suitable music for the wedding service.
The church organist’s fee for weddings is $200.00 which is to be paid before the church office closes on the Wednesday prior to the rehearsal. The church organist customarily plays for all weddings in the church. If another organist is desired by reason of strong ties, this must be approved through consultation with the Music Director. It is still common professional courtesy to offer to pay the church organist’s fee, as wedding fees are counted on as part of an annual salary. (This is internationally supported and endorsed by the American Guild of Organists.)
The church has vocal soloists and instrumentalists available. These are musicians of professional quality who are familiar with the worship service at First United Methodist Church and are known to the Music Director. It is recommended that if the couple desires vocal or instrumental music, church soloists be used. However, outside soloists are permitted. The soloists will have their own fees, so it is advisable to consult with them in advance when making music arrangements.
In all cases, the final decision regarding the music for a wedding will remain with the Music Director in consultation with the Pastor.
DECORATIONS
Flowers, decorations, and other appointments will not be unduly elaborate. In all the activities surrounding the wedding service, excessive expense and ostentation will be avoided. Since the wedding is a worship service, its emphasis is on worship, and not on decorations or a show of wealth.
RECEPTION
The First United Methodist Church Methodist Family Center is available for receptions, if it is not scheduled for other church events. Arrangements for use of the center should be made in consultation with the church office. The cost for reserving the Center for non-members is $225. No alcoholic beverages are allowed at wedding receptions held in church facilities. The Gathering Room in the Christian Education Building (on the same floor as the Sanctuary) is available for a fee of $100.00 for non-members.
SEXTON
Decorators shall furnish labor or help. If the church sexton is needed for his services, arrangements should be made in advance.
The fee for the normal services provided by the Sexton is $150.00 ($50.00 for the rehearsal, and $100.00 for the wedding). The fee for use of the sexton’s service in the Methodist Family Center is $125.00. The fee for the use of the sexton’s services in the Chapel is $25.00.
The church sexton should be paid on or before the church office closes on the Wednesday before the wedding rehearsal.
FEES
All fees are to be paid on or before the church office closes on the Wednesday before the wedding rehearsal. Checks may be sent to the church office, and each check may be marked for the purpose intended.
FACILITIES
In order to rule out the possibility of conflicting dates, the church facilities will be reserved for particular dates only after staff consultation.
Reservations for weddings are scheduled on a “first come, first served” basis for members of First United Methodist Church. The church is available on a limited basis for non-members for weddings. A fee of $600.00 will apply to all weddings for non-members for the use of the Sanctuary, which includes the rehearsal and the wedding. A refund of $100.00 will be given by the church if everything is left in an acceptable condition. Chapel reservation for non-members is $100.00.